Continuing our topic on sex and marriage, here are some things you and your partner can do to cultivate greater interest in sex according to Dr Douglas Rosenau:

1. Make a budget for your sex life

Don’t be shy to spend a certain amount of money on a monthly / quarterly basis for your sex life. It could be new sheets, a hotel staycation to spend the weekend away, sexy lingerie, scented candles…. anything that works for the both of you. This is a good chance to start a conversation with your partner so you can both get to know what each of you prefer. 

2. Take turns planning a sexual surprise for each other

Do it when its least expected like maybe on a weeknight if you’re able to get home earlier than your spouse. Think of ways you can playfully arouse your partner in a sexual way. Cooking in the kitchen with only an apron on? Playing jazz and setting the dining table with scented candles, rose petals and a deck of sex activity cards for the both of you to complete by the end of the night? Get creative! 

3. Take a bath together at the end of a long day

It’s a great aphrodisiac and it helps tune you into your body. Better yet if its a bubble bath! 

4. Dress sexy underneath! Or maybe just go commando.

This one’s for the ladies. You could wear a sexy piece of lingerie every now and then under your clothes (yes, to work also!) just to let its texture and material remind you of sex throughout the day. It definitely won’t be something you conveniently forget again once you get home! Or if you dare, don’t wear any underwear to a social gathering and only tell your husband on the way out the door – that’s sure to keep his mind fixed on one thing throughout the night all the way till you both get home to your bedroom!

5. You’ve got it, so flaunt it

Men are visually aroused so ladies,  you can occasionally flaunt your nude body at unusual times just to enjoy his reactions – in fact it can work both ways at times. Just have fun with each other and be comfortable in your own naked bodies around each other.

6. Use a special perfume

Use a special perfume that you and your partner have mentally associated with making love and wear it on the evening or the day you anticipate sexual activity.

7. Create romantic sexual fantasies

Create romantic sexual fantasies about your love life while driving in the car and share them with your partner on the way home. Talking about sex, even if you’re just musing or being curious, can often stir up the desire to have it!

If some of these ideas don’t seem appealing to you, come up with your own list. Just remember everyone and every couple is different and that’s okay. The idea is to get into the habit of valuing each other by making the effort to keep your sex life alive and kicking. Enjoy!


The main points of this list was taken from Sheet Music by Dr Kevin Leman. Photo by

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